8 questions to ask your employer as a working carer

Key Takeaways

Print these questions to ask your employer as a working carer before you sit down with HR. The eight below use current GOV.UK and Acas pages, then set them next to ranking guides from Age UK, Home Instead, Which?, Elder and CIPD. Where their pages are more complete, I say so.

If you are skimming, the question most people get wrong is whether they need a GP letter. They do not.

Priya already had Wednesday 9.30 in her calendar when she left the glass room. Two days of unpaid carer's leave, in the system. She had not handed over her dad's clinic letter. She had not said Parkinson's.

This listicle is the rewind. It puts ranking UK guides, and the papers they lean on, next to our own posts. It is a question list you can take into the meeting, not a ranking of brands.

Carers UK's Tipping Point report (May 2026), drawing on State of Caring 2025, found that 48% of carers who had already given up work had not felt comfortable speaking to their line manager. The same research put 47% of employee carers as considering cutting hours or leaving. The eight questions below are for the people who still might.

1. Do working carers have to give medical evidence?

No. Ask it out loud, because a lot of intranet pages still imply you do.

Acas is blunt. You do not have to put an unpaid carer's leave request in writing. You do not have to give evidence of the dependant's care needs. You do have to say you are taking carer's leave to give or arrange care for a dependant with a long-term need, and name the days or half days. Old age counts. Notice for one day is at least three days. For two days, four. You can take half days.

Honestly, the GP-letter myth bothers me more than a missing handbook. People delay the request while they wait for a clinic printout they were never required to fetch.

Carers UK's Carer's Leave Act page leans on the same 2023 Act. Their FAQ is the line to quote: an employer cannot require you to supply evidence that you are caring. We walked the notice table in how to take unpaid carer's leave. Use that, or Acas.

Home Instead's dementia-and-work article sends you to a GP, and then to antidepressants or counselling, if the job and the caring both feel too much. That can be the right medical and peer support. It is not a condition of the unpaid week. Their page is more complete on burnout in plain language. It is not the legal test.

2. Is any of our carer's leave paid?

The statutory week is unpaid. That is the whole of the current right.

Ask HR to open the contract, the handbook, or the carers policy, not the Acas summary. Carers UK says some employers already pay some days, and that if they pay three you can still take the rest of the statutory week unpaid. We set that out in paid carer's leave: what exists now.

Age UK's juggling-work-and-caring page, last updated 25 March 2026, tells you the Carer's Leave Act gives up to one week, and that it "may be paid or unpaid". True. It does not tell you to find the line in your own paperwork before you budget a lost week's wages. Age UK is stronger on the types of flexible pattern you might want (compressed hours, job share, a different branch). The pay question lives in your contract.

I cannot tell you whether your employer will start paying the week. The government's Make Work Pay consultation closed on 1 September 2026. GOV.UK currently says it is analysing the feedback. Do not hang Wednesday's leave on that PDF.

3. Can a working carer request flexible working from day one?

Yes, in England, Scotland and Wales. Ask for the written statutory process, not an informal "see how it goes".

GOV.UK says you can apply from your first day. The email or letter must include the date, a statement that this is a statutory request, the pattern you want and when it should start, and whether you have made a previous application. You can make two statutory requests in any 12 months. The employer must consult you before refusing, and decide within two months.

Carers UK's requesting-flexible-working page names those same fields and points to the Department for Business and Trade template. It is more complete than this list on the eight business reasons for refusal, and on Northern Ireland's 26-week wait. Use it if you are writing the letter. Talking to your employer about caring covers whether you name the word carer at all.

Home Instead still says everyone has the right to request flexible working after 26 weeks, and that you should explain how the change will affect the organisation. That was the old rule. Day one, and no impact statement, arrived on 6 April 2024. We keep a current walk-through in flexible working for working carers. Age UK's juggling page has the 2024 start date right. Home Instead's page does not.

A later start twice a week is a request. Dropping Friday is also a request, and that one hits pay and pension. If the money already looks ugly, reducing hours to care is the version with the cost.

4. If you postpone unpaid carer's leave, what must you put in writing?

They cannot refuse it. They can move it.

GOV.UK and Acas both say postponement is allowed only if your absence would cause serious disruption. They must agree another date within one month of the date you asked for, and put the reason and the new date in writing within seven days of the request, and before the leave was due to start.

Ask for that letter. A verbal "not this week" is not the process.

Age UK's juggling page does not mention postponement at all. Carers UK's Act FAQ does, including the "unduly disrupted" test. Their page is more complete on job protection while you are off: same terms, same job, no detriment. Ours is shorter. If your manager treats the week as a favour, send them Acas.

5. Do we have a carer passport, and does it survive a new manager?

Ask whether the scheme exists. Then ask the second half, because that is the bit intranet pages skip.

A workplace carer passport is a voluntary note of the hours you have already agreed. The Civil Service template lives on GOV.UK (updated 18 August 2023). The conversation map walks you through what you are willing to share, what would help, the carers network, the EAP, signing the form, and a yearly review.

It also says, in the PDF that sits behind that page, that a manager change does not guarantee the old hours. A statutory flexible working request is still the process that can change the contract. The passport is last quarter's handshake.

CIPD's carer-friendly workplace guide (7 July 2026) tells people professionals to write a policy, offer leave, train managers, and set up peer support. The public intro cites Carers UK's 2026 finding that 47% of employee carers are considering cutting hours or leaving. That 47% is from the primary Tipping Point report, not from CIPD's own survey. CIPD is the stronger page if you are HR. It will not tell Priya what to write in the 9.30 box.

A People lead in a 60-person engineering firm off Pride Park in Derby has had Carer_Passport_v2.docx on the intranet since 2024. Two people filled it in. One changed manager in March. The 9.30 starts held because the new manager was decent, not because SharePoint said so. Put a review trigger on manager change, or treat the form as a prompt and file the statutory request anyway.

Age UK does not mention passports. If your firm has never heard of one, skip the branded form and ask questions 1 to 3 anyway.

6. How is this different from time off for dependants?

Unpaid carer's leave is for planned, long-term care. Time off for dependants is for an emergency you did not already know about.

GOV.UK is plain: you cannot use emergency time off if you knew about the situation beforehand. A hospital appointment you booked last month is not an emergency. A cancelled morning visit, a fall, a neighbour who did not arrive, can be. There is no set number of days. Pay is up to the employer.

Age UK is stronger here than we are. Their examples include cancelled care, organising longer-term arrangements after a crisis, and what happens if the person dies. Use their list when you are trying to name the right leave in the email. We wrote time off for dependants for an elderly parent for the "I already knew" trap.

Acas says if you cannot give the minimum notice for carer's leave, emergency time off for dependants is the other door. Do not spend the unpaid week on a cancelled rota if the handbook already covers that morning.

7. Does the EAP actually place a weekday carer?

Ask what the employee assistance programme does. Then ask what it does not.

The GOV.UK conversation map lists the EAP next to the carers network and Employers for Carers as a place to go for help. CIPD puts information and peer support in the same bundle. Home Instead sends you to a GP or a private counsellor. None of those people will be in the bathroom at 7.45.

The Health Foundation (February 2026), using Understanding Society for 2023 to 2025, put 59% of working-age unpaid carers in paid employment, against 67% of working-age adults who were not carers. That fell to 35% among people caring 35 hours a week or more. Counselling does not move that number. Hours of replacement care do.

We wrote why your EAP will not place a carer for that mix-up. Use the helpline. Ask the operator a yes or no: can you introduce a vetted carer for 7.45 tomorrow? If the answer is a directory or a counselling slot, you already have it.

CIPD and the University of Sheffield found almost a third of working carers had not discussed the role with anyone at work, most often because they believed nothing would change. An EAP leaflet is how that belief hardens.

8. If I use the leave to arrange care, who employs the person in the house?

This is the question the workplace guides skip, and the one that decides whether Wednesday 9.30 was worth taking.

Unpaid carer's leave can be used to arrange care, not only to provide it. Sit in on a care needs assessment. Meet two people. Agree cover. Then go back to the job.

Which? (27 July 2020) asked 367 members about arranging home care. Half found the system difficult. Their page names the two models: a homecare agency that employs the carer, or an introductory service that introduces a self-employed carer you engage yourself. They lean on their own survey and on NICE's view that continuity of workers is a safety issue. The 2020 fieldwork is dated. The model split is not. Their checklist of charges, cover, and continuity is more complete than ours.

Elder (5 September 2024) is better on preparing for a carer's assessment: NHS number, GP details, an emergency-scheme card, registering as a carer with your surgery. It will not tell you how to keep a 9 to 5 around that hour. Elder also states, at the foot, that it is an introductory agency and does not oversee ongoing delivery of care. Ask that same question of whoever you are about to meet.

The NHS still puts help at home from a paid carer at about £15 to £30 an hour. Five weekday hour-long visits at £26 is about £6,760 a year. That is usually less than dropping a day.

Priya is 46. Claims handler, a motor insurer off Five Ways in Birmingham. Dad is 78, Hall Green, Parkinson's, an 8am tablet that now takes twenty minutes and a shower that takes forty. Wednesday and Thursday were the assessment and two video introductions. The weekday slot is 7.45 to 9.15, same person, Monday to Friday. She still does Sundays. The calendar invite was the cheap part.

The DWP (18 March 2025) put about 544,000 working-age carers out of work because they were caring for someone of working age, at a cost of £37 billion in lost output using 2022 data. That slice excludes people caring for someone over working age. Eldercare of a parent on a state pension does not even make that official total. It still takes the job if nobody else does the morning.

I still do not know whether Priya will tell her manager the word. Wednesday is booked either way.

Where other guides are stronger

Keep the pages above open. This list is the meeting, not the whole rights pack.

• Age UK is better on the menu of flexible patterns and on emergency time off for dependants. Their juggling page does not cover postponement letters or the four fields in a statutory flexible working request.
• Carers UK is better on variable-hours leave, stacking paid and unpaid days, and the eight business reasons for refusing flexible working. They do not ask who employs the weekday carer.
• Which? is better on agency contracts, hidden charges, and continuity. The 2020 survey is old. The invoice questions are not.
• Elder is better on the carer's assessment pack and GP registration. It will not keep a 9 to 5 around that meeting.
• CIPD is better if you are HR and need a policy. It is not a family question list.
• Home Instead is better on naming dementia burnout. Check their 26-week flexible-working wait against GOV.UK before you wait half a year to ask.

None of those pages owe you a comparison with an introductory marketplace. That is our job, and it only counts where I opened both sides.

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How Match With Care can help

The meeting with your manager is shorter if the 7.45 slot already has a name on it.

Match With Care is a managed introductory care marketplace. Carers are interviewed, enhanced DBS-checked, right-to-work verified and reference-checked. You browse profiles, compare experience and rates, and meet by video or in person before anyone starts. A care advisor stays with you through hours, cover, and the first awkward week. Hours go in the app. You get a weekly invoice. Compare the quote against the NHS £15 to £30 band, not against a slogan.

We are not a traditional domiciliary agency and we are not CQC-registered as a care provider. Introductory services are not. If you want an agency that employs the carer and runs the rota, Which? is the better shopping list.

If you want help matching a named weekday slot rather than another EAP leaflet, speak to a care advisor. Bring the eight questions. Leave the clinic letter at home.